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Just

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the nurse who loved me [Apr. 20th, 2007|10:32 pm]
Just
[Current Location |the promise land]
[music |starfuckers inc-NIN]

I had blood taken for the first time today! :o How excitingggg. haha *cough*
I created a bunch of deviantart things which i am proud of!
here !
Things are very quiet tonight.

Where for art thou Jess?

anyway, how interesting. peace. ciao <3 Just
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scissorhands [Jan. 23rd, 2007|10:49 pm]
Just
[mood |crushedcrushed]

so I'm back once again...

yes.

it doesnt help i watched tais toi and edward scissor hands today.
with all the sharp cuttiness...

yeah i'm not doing so well.

the blackdog is visiting.

hi cyberspace.

if your going to bdo. i don't want to talk about it or think about it.
stupid gig despondance.


nortons is telling me about a new trojan outbreak. kthanksbye.

my mum took away the internet power for two days lol
*clasps power*

mmm internets

i'm tired.

bye.
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(no subject) [Jul. 9th, 2006|12:41 am]
Just
[Current Location |post-gig home time]
[mood |sleepysleepy]
[music |silence after listening to the beautiful live music that day]

You know youre Justine when…. A member of trial kennedy told you earlier on that day you would make a good drug dealer. Or if a member of limbeck complimented your mother on her fairly cool stripey pants. Lol. Or if you feeel sooooo very bad and guilty about your wording to Darren from kisschasy, in saying that “I like the old songs better than the new songs”

Him “that’s the last thing a band wants to hear”

Me “no! I LIKE THE NEW SONGS TOO!!! *Yells after him*

Or that mark, lead of big city exile told you that after you berated him about smoking, that he has quit. There is hope for us all… but….. not for me.

Or you made friends with the tours merch guy, craig.

You saw too many school people at one gig for your liking, have decided this is a non good thing.


tbc...

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when it doesnt even hit the fan... by aisensibly parsley [Jul. 9th, 2006|12:34 am]
Just
[Current Location |post-gig home time]
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |only the silence and the memories of the days music]

quelque chose au sujet du silence me rend malade says:
SHH
quelque chose au sujet du silence me rend malade says:
don't you hate it when you shit on the floor and you hear but you can't find it? It's fucking annoying. like you spend fucking ages trying to find it and you can't find it!




I can't say that i often have that problem ais. misses mise  mr plant child of the round triangular purple garden


yewww.



I heart ais.

<3
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if you dont like "emoness" or cant handle reality, dont read. if you want to understand more... [Jun. 30th, 2006|02:01 am]
Just
HOLLIDAYZ



note: Don't play twister with adam, ideas.... lol only scrabble! or i'm thinking hungry hungry hippos would be of educational benefits. hahaha. Only play twister with Jess. hehehe ;)

My pc is dying. Just you are a fool. I'm sorry pretty pc.

It took me til 7am yesterday to get to sleep.... it's almost 2.30 am now..... i feel so fatigued.
The depression is affecting my sleep as far as i know,

WAVEPAD IS TAKING AGESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

my jaw is tight.
and now i'm real hungry and i have eskimo joe songs stuck in my head. Thoughts in my bed, that will never be read, never be red/better not be red. a red swan



I was kinda aroused before... meh lol. stuff happens. Jess would be more likely to say "horny" hahaha.
I've been bored and doing quizzess on quizzilla. hahaha LOSERXCORE. I feel really weak from this gif image on one of the coffin girls myspaces, wtih blood and stuff. Blood, the sight, makes me feel so very weak and faint and sick and nauseous and light headed.

Then i thought meh why not. cos i must be emo (everyone is emo its a crock)

There is possible irony in the fact that blood makes me feel faint... and the whole stabby stab rip stab stab thing. haha


the quiz said........
You cut because of the pressure. It seems everyone is telling you how to live your life, and you unwillingly do as your told. You jsut want some freedom, to be able to control something in your life. Try telling them this, they WILL listen.


I just did the funniest quiz! lol and the person who wrote it really likes "My Chem!!!" lolomgzzzzz.
ugh. totallliez                   SO. EFFING.FUNNY


Still feel light headed.

THIS IS WHY I CAN'T GIVE BLOOD. it would make me feel heaps sick and i would prob pass out.




heres the inside info voice thingey

http://teenadvice.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=teenadvice&zu=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.angelfire.com%2Fks%2FCutters%2Findex.html

So Why do we do it?

Most people think it's distugusting. Why in the world would anyone want to cut themselves on purpose? Are we sick? Maybe. But it's about feeling better. The most important thing to remember is that cutting is not a suicide attempt. Self-Injury and suicide are two very, very different things. Self-Injury is often what people do to keep themselves from suicide. Self-Injury is a quick fix. It's a coping method. And although it may not be the best coping method, it's still what gets us through.

Reasons why people self-injure:

1. It's chemical. Cutting releases endorphins in the brain. Those endorphins are adreanaline, which makes you feel better.

2. It puts you in control of your pain. You are causing the pain, and you can stop the pain.

3. It allows emotional pain to become physical. Not only does this make it easier to heal, it allows your feeling to become something tangible.

4. It makes you feel stronger.

5. Control, Control, CONTROL. Cutting makes me feel stronger. It puts me in control. No matter how my life seems to be spinning out of control, I am suddenly grounded. It clears my mind.

6. Eases tension.

7. It allows others to see your pain.

8. It reminds you that you're alive. Sometimes I forget, and everything feels numb. The blood reminds me I am here.

9. It vents anger. Sometimes I am just so angry at myself, the world, whoever, and I feel I'm just going to explode if I don't let it out.



yeah so yeah.....



http://www.vinland.org/scamp/institute/dsh.html




cant sleep. oh gosh i feel so sick.

I however have the new ej album .... yeaaaah

AND ITS THE HOLIDAYS

ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOO COLD COLD COLD
ARGH LOL WARM BEDDD!!!
ily love Just
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money is evil. sigh. [Jun. 26th, 2006|12:09 pm]
Just
i tried to be nice and help. but noooo.
fuck society and it's pointless survival via, and its striving to gain such a frivilous item. A mere piece of paper, a mere sprinkling og shrapnel that can make or break your social status. It can make you everything you are, the aiming businessman, to everything you aren't, the ideas kid with insuffuicient funds.

MONEY.MONEY.MONEY. in a rich mans world


I get a train fine because i could not find my ticket. I am unemployed and i like live music. I live an hour away from my often desired destination. and as mentioned.... I still now owe the government 200 dollars. Which in reality is $203.50. Which makes me wish i really hadn't paid for that train ticket.
I want to stab the infringement processing bureau. alot.
To death. pretty crimson colours fading into the shadows.

sender and sleight are nice.

pick up your dancing mosh boots and lose the hardcore, i only mosh to sleight/(jinn)hardkore bands image. You and your scene styled friends need to show more respect to the music scene. you embarass and ashame me
You only have me to fear. and i'm the one who's scared.
Get into it. ROCK OUT. ROCK IT.

I wish i was cooler and got lots of myspace love. I would be awefully nice to be one of those 60 pic comments people. i couldnt get to 30 if it laughed me. Emo space is just an egotistical, breeding ground for fakes and for indie and like minded people to create speshal bonds and something creative, new and speshal wonderment.Connecting the freaks with the freaks. stalking your admirers.It's a complex web of inadequate humans seeking the acceptance that lies within their own inner depths.A complete waste of time, but a complete sucess at benefiting my computer skills.

tbc.......

love just


p.s i clicked cancel and was so angry .... thankyou for using the copy button past justine!

{ addition}
this isn't necessary to read.

I don't know what to do... i almost couldnt sleep because of it. I mean fair enough he was too busy for me when exams were on(yuo should never be too busy for friends, but school isnt as importsant to me ad friends), but now i always see him online and if i say something to him he will speak. so i feel left out the depression leads me to be distant and then slowly i move back in his top 8. I never deserved 1st place anyway.
I'm becomming rather sad as i write this and i am now crying.
It hurts
I'm just going to hurt myself more by beikng stupid about this.
I'm sad so i'm eating gelato. I'm going to eat my problems away and then go to the gym this afternoon.
ive already had several bowls of cereal and some toast. chocolate toast.
here lies my descent into ruin via binge eating.
fck. its now 12am
My retardedness annoys me. but this is emo space. lololol.
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okay ignore the last two stuffed up posts-vicariously i live as the whole world dies. [May. 13th, 2006|11:58 pm]
Just
C-C-C-C-CCHECK OUT THE pic I DREW FOR chrolex;and i are going to elope again soon weooooowwwww

someone might die tonite.

THAT is really REAL. sad.
 X.X SAD NESS.fills.me.X
 i am affected.
suicide is really sad thing.

 ily all!!!!!!!! SO MUCH. <3 <3 <3


 i still lust for him
.... it drives me insane, i will send him "the letter" of DOOM!!! soon.... i fear, as my insecurities shallow my convoluted depths whole. i live vicariously, a half vampire, as the world dies. i quite enjoy the tool song vicarious. vampires are sexy. I am kinda sad and miss marky and jess... and moe somewhat. but i have spoken to her tonite. so not as much as my lovers i havent spoken with.

 amanda(marks gf) got mad at me today... cos i told her she should take a break from working, and its true even when shes "online" she ddoesn't speak to me. I prob deserved the angryness. She is very opinionated. i am listening to pj harvey[borrowed from the library]. I so wasn't in the mood for hunters and collectors. fuck. so so not. i email replied one of my mailing lists with the msg "i love you" hahaha. Im really tired. I had a nap at 9 and i thought i wouldnt be able to get back up. I don't lilke this sickness. no no. when i become as interesting as court or jess i will inform you. or you might read my blog hahaha. bloggity blogness. YEAH.YEAH. karen o's hair looks like a monks. i want to go see <<<death cab with mark>>. i love mark and i love death cab(for cutie) and there will be other bands. i love mark so much. moe will prob read this and feel left out. but i feel closer to people i see more. you know. or have actually hugged.*hint* come see me. jesses bday is in like 5 days.
we have 35days left. so says ais.

WANT. CANDLES.(bad jesus) xxx ALL IF FULL OF LOVE x<3
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(no subject) [May. 13th, 2006|11:49 pm]
Just
C-C-C-C-CCHECK OUT THE pic I DREW FOR chrolexand i are going to elope again soon weooooowwwww someone might die tonite. THAT is really REAL. sad. X.X SAD NESS.fills.me.X i am affected. suicide is really sad thing. ily all!!!!!!!! SO MUCH. <3 <3 <3 i still lust for him.... it drives me insane, i will send him "the letter" of DOOM!!! soon.... i fear, as my insecurities shallow my convoluted depths whole. i live vicariously, a half vampire, as the world dies. i quite enjoy the tool song vicarious. vampires are sexy. I am kinda sad and miss marky and jess... and moe somewhat. but i have spoken to her tonite. so not as much as my lovers i havent spoken with. amanda(marks gf) got mad at me today... cos i told her she should take a break from working, and its true even when shes "online" she ddoesn't speak to me. I prob deserved the angryness. She is very opinionated. i am listening to pj harvey[borrowed from the library]. I so wasn't in the mood for hunters and collectors. fuck. so so not. i email replied one of my mailing lists with the msg "i love you" hahaha. Im really tired. I had a nap at 9 and i thought i wouldnt be able to get back up. I don't lilke this sickness. no no. when i become as interesting as court or jess i will inform you. or you might read my blog hahaha. bloggity blogness. YEAH.YEAH. karen o's hair looks like a monks. i want to go see death cab with mark. i love mark and i love death cab and there will be other bands. i love mark so much. moe will prob read this and feel left out. but i feel closer to people i see more. you know. or have actually hugged. come see me. jesses bday is in like 5 days. we have 35days left. so says ais. WANT. CANDLES.(bad jesus) xxx ALL IF FULL OF LOVE x<3
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(no subject) [May. 13th, 2006|11:39 pm]
Just


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i live vicariously as the whole world dies..... sadness [May. 13th, 2006|11:06 pm]
Just
[Current Location |affected]
[mood |distressedaffected]
[music |pj harvey-this wicked tongue]




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